“Top Five Clues You’re at a Bad Filipino Festival” (September 11, 2000)

5. One of the three members in the singing “Boy Group” sounds obviously queer whenever he gives a shot out to the ladies.

4. When a vendor is only selling white briefs  he bought from CostCo with the word “Tribal” stitched on it.

3. When you go to the independent filmmaker’s booth to see the latest promo, only to see the latest porno from the Philippines with exclusive “ass” scenes of famed action star, Roland Dantes. “Sticks of Death” forever!

2. When at the food vendor area, you witness the slaughtering of goats and chickens by some fat dude with no shirt on.

1. When the folk dances begin, the Muslim dancers for some reason actually start stabbing and killing the Spanish dancers.

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