“Top Five Differences Between Presidential Ballots and *Baluts” (November 14, 2000)

5. Baluts have a lot of protein, yet ballots have a lot of fiber.

4. If you tell the Fil-Ams in Palm Beach Florida to come back to re-do their ballots, they might be pissed to find something else .

3. If Gore were a balut, we would suck him for the soup. If Bush were a balut, he would suck.

2. Balut sometimes has cracks, whereas Bush sometimes does crack.

1. It’ll take just one more needed balut to end world hunger and just one less needed ballot to end the world.

*(hardboiled duck fetus in the shell)

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