5. Another pair of Chinatown tsinelas (slippers) where each one is a different size and worse, your Tita tells you it’s the same one Bruce Lee wore. Yeah right, if his right foot was bigger than his left one.
4. A large box of CostCo toilet paper for your house. Now what are they trying to tell you?
3. A Coleco Vision game console! But it’s the year 2000, where in hell am I gonna get games?!
2. A complete Nativity Scene, with a special guest appearance by the Barrel Man!
1. The Filipino Fruitcake with plenty of our favorite morsels like champoy, dried fish, bibingka mix, msg, spam, and leche flan. Mmmmmm….diarrhea.