Category Archives: Rex’s Top 5

“Top Five Ways You Can Tell You’re the First Pinoy on the Dog House Comedy Jam line-up on August 25th, 2001 at the Shoreline Amphitheater.”

5. Backstage, everyone thinks you’re Mexican and keeps asking, “Where’s your big brother, George Lopez?” 4. You didn’t bring an entourage and so you just start talking to the ushers, the security people and the stage hands and serve your own drinks pretending you work there too. 3. Your many hundreds of fellow Pinoy fans […]

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Top Five Ways Your Game Will Be Crushed by Moving Back Home with Mom, Dad and Lola” (by Charlene Lobo, SF Bay Area 7/10/01)

5. That eerie silence that everyone sits  in while waiting for the right moment to leave the house with your date. Hurry before they take out the pictures. 4. The smell of fried fish that pervades your clothes, jacket, and bedroom sheets that lasts longer than your perfume/cologne. The very same odiferousness that wafts out […]

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“Top Five Ways You Know You’re at a Filipino Wedding” (by Annabelle Malibago Kline of Woodbridge, CT 06/26/01)

5. The highlight of the evening is watching 3 year old Titoy sing karaoke of “Dancing Queen”. 4. You are greeted at the reception by a life-sized statue of Santo Nino. 3. Someone yells “Auntie!” and all the women turn around. 2. Everyone is line-dancing, no matter what song is playing. 1. Your Lola is […]

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“Top Five NEW Services that SBC Packers Worldwide Is Now Offering!” (donated by Rodney Acda of SF, Ca 6/20/01)

5. Insurance!-If your package is in any way, shape, or form damaged, we will pack it again free of charge! 4. Faster Packing!-We have now devoloped a new techinique! More than one worker can now pack your things so the packing is faster! 3. WebPack!-Now you can log on to our website www.wewillpackU.com to register […]

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“Top Five Clues You Know You Live In A ‘PINOY DEPRIVED’ State” (fromKimberly Bayan-Berlat of Tempe, AZ) (June 11, 2001)

5. You watch “Miss Saigon” every time it comes to town since it draws all the Pinoys out of the woodwork because “That’s the show Lea Salonga was in.” 4. You’ll pay $2 for a package of rice noodles to make Pancit and $6 for a bottle of Kikoman Soy Sauce in the “Oriental Aisle” […]

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“Top Five Ways You Know a Pinoy has a small penis” (by Moonie of Pinoylife.com, Hollywood CA)- May 26, 2001

5. He bathes with 2 tabos… one for pouring water and the other for covering up 4. He wears REALLY baggy pants and tells you that the reason he wears them is because “he needs to make room por da third leg” 3. The tips of his index finger and thumb are abnormally more …

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“Top Five Ways to Tell You’re in a Filipino Household”(by John Agee of San Diego, CA) 5/10/01

5. The mother forces you to eat, even though you just gorged yourself on Jack in the Box. 4. The wonderful smell of Bagong fills your lungs 3. A picture of the last supper or Jesus is on at least one wall 2. Everything is covered in Plastic 1. There’s a wooden spoon and fork […]

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