5. It was deep fried…whole, except for the head (you gotta hold it somehow).

4. When the recipe called for “stuffing the turkey”, he made the turkey eat a lot of bread and raisins before punching it to death.

3. It was stuffed with illegal “hueteng” tickets that Philippine President Joseph Estrada claims he new nothing about except that the turkey was
enrolled in a charitable school for Muslim children in Mindanao. He ate the turkey anyway because it tasted like pork.

2. The center is still frozen solid from trying that “defrost as you cook” method. “Ay naku, I overslept again!”

1. Instead of the normal bowl of cranberry jelly, this year there’s a 22 ounce bottle of Mang Tomas’ Liver Sauce with the cap missing!