5. “Do you think anyone suspects we were up all last night playing
drinking games and my keynote speech was the same one I gave last year?”

4. “There needs to more Youth involvement in our community building, so
long as they have money to pay for conference registration.”

3. “I am the Chapter President of (insert name of bogus organization

2. “I got into politics because, as an insurance salesman, I know how to
frighten people about the world outside and this makes them trust you even
more about the issues.”

1. “I didn’t even know there WAS a conference before tonight’s gala dinner.”